Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"

First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..."

Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."

Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:
"Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says..."Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"OK...then I DEFINITELY shit my pants..."


The chemistry teacher was berating the students for not learning the Periodic Table of the Elements.

She said "Why when I was your age I knew both their names and weights."

One kid popped up, "Yeah... but teach, there were so few of them back then."
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
One student couldn't be motivated to take an interest in science at all. He said, "I plan to go into the business. Name me one thing science has done to help business."

The teacher shot back, "And just where would the belt industry be without the law of gravity."